How to support your female negotiators in the male dominated business environment?

Patent licensing is still quite male dominated world. Even though there are more and more women in senior positions in licensing, especially in legal services sector, they still are rare in negotiations between operating companies. Only minority of my somewhat large selection of patent licensing and related negotiations had a woman as my counter-party. If there was one, she was usually a legal support and not the lead negotiator. I’ve seen numerous women as supporting lawyers, assistants, receptionists and coffee makers but seldom as negotiators. 

In my company we have quite many women as negotiators and also in very senior positions. This is of course fantastic and shows the way for other companies. So how does it work for women in the male dominated business culture? How does it really work? 

Patent licensing is very demanding work. It is intellectually challenging, happens in complex business and legal environment. Negotiations may be contentious. Often work includes travel which may be taxing both physically and mentally. Anyone, men, women and non-binaries will need to be – again and again - at their best (or close to it) to be successful.  

That is where it starts. This work is very rarely done alone. In negotiations, one can be at his or her best with the support of colleagues. It means everyone is respected and everyone can trust their colleagues to support them. Support means real support: equality and inclusion that build trust.  

I realized this very clearly in couple of occasions. I was leading a negotiation with Asian counterparty and my negotiation team included a very senior gentleman, whom the counterparty clearly expected to be in charge. They were not addressing their words to me but the the this gentleman. He fortunately understood the situation and took a seat beside me, making me sit in the middle and clearly and visibly made this silent statement of positioning me to be in charge. Instead of answering to speech addressed to him, he asked me to respond. In another occasion earlier in my career another male colleague who actually was higher ranking than I, stated very clearly to the counterparty that I was fully authorized to negotiate and he would only be listening. And he was. 

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But if these colleagues did not support me like they did, it would have been much more difficult for me and the entire team to be successful. Of course none of use are rookies or couldn’t take some BS. We all need to do that sometimes. That is not the issue. Youngsters or women do not need protection. They just need support like everyone does. Without such support these kind of dismissive strategies may be used in attempt to disrupt or use the weakness of the team to the counter-party’s benefit. 

I told these stories in an event for female leaders and I was surprised to learn that such supportive experiences that I’ve had so many, are actually really rare. It is so easy to just keep on talking, raising your ego and not listen to colleagues or not asking their opinion. If your own culture tolerates sexism, you may overlook that taking place before your very eyes. Sometimes people are so afraid of conflict (yes, happens also in patent licensing) that they are afraid to confront their counterparty and just let them behave in unacceptable manner.  

Therefore, my check list for supporting your female negotiators would be this: 

1. Start with your own values and culture: define what is the way of working in my company, business unit or team. Define the value to be inclusive and supportive for all. Also younger professional need support, and yes, you too will need it sometimes when you are having not your greatest day. Be aware of what kind of supportive behavior will make you and others most successful. 

1. When you define what to do and how to do it, then consistently do it. Be supportive, show respect, frame your colleagues to be in the expert or lead position they need to have to be successful. Reaffirm their message and support their position. If you disagree, deal with that later. Learn how to best support your teammates. 

1. Do not tolerate douchebags. You are entitled to end unacceptable behavior of counterparty and also from your own team. No dismissive language or even nuances towards anyone. No sexism, racism or discrimination – not even as a joke. (It’s never a joke.)  

Finally, I have to say that the best learnings regarding how to support your female colleagues I have gotten from senior men. I am happy and proud to have had the possibility to work with such great people.